Dear Charlotte,
Today is Mother's Day! My very first Mother's Day as a mother. It was really great! Thanks for the flowers. I'm not sure how you bought me flowers but your dad said they were from you and the card was signed "Charlotte" so they had to have been from you, right? (Hehe.)
You want to know what it's like to be a mother, Charlotte? Well, just imagine starting a new job that you're soooo excited for and you feel like you know will be pretty good at it. But then you show up on your first day and no one trains you, no one even knows HOW to do your specific job but you're expected to do really important things like keep someone else alive and stuff. Oh, and that job never, ever ends. It's 24/7. And all of a sudden you just don't feel as confident as you did before your first day on the job. It's really scary and hard! But it is really great, too! I'm learning, don't worry. And keeping you alive hasn't been as hard as I thought it was going to be.
Speaking of Mother's Day, I think I just passed the "Mother's Day Test." The Mother's Day Test is when both you and your baby are really sick and you are tested to see if you both survive. See, taking care of a sick baby is hard and tiring...but doing that when YOU are sick? That's on a whole other level, girlfriend! I'm not sure how we landed a double ear infection (you) and the WORST case of strep throat that existed since the start of mankind (me) but it happened to us! I swear you could sense that I felt like death, though, because you have been the BEST baby EVER this weekend! Friday was probably one of my worst days and you played by yourself (basically) the entire day. That never happens! You and I belong together baby girl.
On a more serious note, today has made me really ponder how thankful I am to be a mom. Not everyone has the opportunity to be a mother in this lifetime. There are many reasons for that and honestly I will never understand why that has to be the case. I know so many people that would make much better mothers than me. All I know is I am so thankful that I have the opportunity to be your mom. During all of this pondering it really hit me that there is no one...and I mean NO ONE that will understand the bond that you and I have except for the you and I. I'm not sure how you'll feel about me when you read this because depending on how old you are you might still be in the, "Ugh, mom. You're so gross." stage but I know that this love I feel right now will only get stronger. The love that I have for you can't be put into words. It hits me harder and harder every day and I am in TEARS right now even thinking about it. Saying I love you just doesn't do this feeling justice.
Okay. No more sappy crap. Things that you've been doing lately that make me giddy on the inside:
-Play peek-a-boo. I don't know how you know to do that, but you learned that on your own.
-Reach for me. Even if you're in the middle of something really awesome if we make eye contact you drop what you're doing, crawl over to me, and put your arms up in the air. It drives me nuts but I love it so much.
-Stand up. This one is both more exciting and more stressful than I expected.
-Giggle at wedding pictures of your daddy and me. Every time you look at them you giggle and giggle and giggle. It is the most precious thing I've ever seen.
-Lick electrical outlets. Most definitely my least favorite hobby of yours.
-Do the downward dog yoga pose. I'm not sure why but you do it so so so much.
-Kiss everyone and everything. Including yourself in the mirror.
-Started to say mama, dada, and wave.
-Hurt yourself 500,000,000,000 times a day. No matter how many pillows, chairs, items I put in your way to keep you out of and away from things that could potentially hurt you...you find a way to hurt yourself. I have no idea what I'm going to do when you start walking.
Well Charles, until next month...adios!
Love,
Mama
