Part Two: The Birth Story

Wow...can you believe it has been over a month since my sweet baby Charlotte was born?! It's been such a whirlwind of a month! I feel like I have learned so much about myself, babies, and just life in general! (For example, baby poop. I know waaayyy more about baby poop than I ever thought there was to know!) So, I know I just did this in my last blog post in reference to THIS post...but I really do want to write a separate post about her first month of life because there is just so much to say. I mean, seriously, this baby consumes my life (in a good way) and I have so much to say about her! 

Back to why you're really reading this. The birth story. Okay. So. In my last post I briefly referred to the gestational hypertension I developed in my pregnancy. Let me tell you a little more about that. (I know that belongs more in the "pregnancy" part of the story but it plays a huge role in this story too so I thought I would add it here.) Gestational hypertension is, simply put, high blood pressure during pregnancy. At approximately 33 weeks pregnant I went in for my regular doctor's appointment and my blood pressure was on the high side.  Now, I can't say I was completely blindsided by this because this is something that runs in my family. All three of my sisters that have had children have developed this. So the odds were NOT in my favor. But let me tell you...it FREAKED me out. Because not only is high blood pressure never really a positive thing, but while pregnant it puts you at a big risk for developing preeclampsia. (If you don't know what that is, look it up. Ain't nobody got time for that.) So for the sake of my time and yours, let me fast forward a bit. My blood pressure never went down, I never developed preeclampsia, and I have a hefty bill from all the testing they did at the hospital. Eh. Could be worse.

So on August 18th, I was going to one of my weekly testing and monitoring appointments with the high-risk doctor at the hospital. I had done this before, so it wasn't a big deal because each time I did this my blood pressure started out really high but always made its way down to an acceptable level. But this time it wasn't going down. I sat there for an hour, having my BP tested every 10 minutes, and it stayed close to 180/100 the entire time. EEK! Not good. So the doctor came in and said, "So, you know how you just said you were excited to have your baby? Well, you're having her today!" Uhhh what? Cool. I frantically called James to share the news and he was in a business call and wasn't answering. Double cool. So naturally I called my mom, freaked out and cried on the phone to her, checked myself into Labor and Delivery, and sat and waited for something to happen. When I finally got a hold of James he rushed out the door only to remember that he hadn't driven that day and had taken the train to work. So he had to impatiently wait 45 minutes for the next train before he could freaking leave! Bad luck, eh? Yeah, I know.

So, here comes the fun part. They started me on all of this medication because my blood pressure was so high and there is a risk that I could have a seizure while delivering because of it so they wanted to play their cards safe. I was put on a magnesium sulfate drip for my entire labor and 24 hours afterwards which...all I have to say is ugh. That stuff makes you feel like CRAP. But, after going through pregnancy you can pretty much handle anything that comes your way. (Amirite, ladies?) They put me on other stuff too but none of that was a big deal. I had been having contractions this entire time but I honestly didn't feel anything until they broke my water at 2:00 and I immediately started feeling them like haaaardcore. OUCH! I knew I was going to get an epidural because, like, yeah, no thanks. I'm not the natural type. GIVE ME DRUGS OR GIVE ME DEATH. Ya know? Once I got the epidural it was like the clouds of heaven opened up and I felt like I could conquer the world! Anyone who has had a good experience with an epidural will surely agree. It's almost like, "Drug addicts...I get you!"

Fast forward again to about 11:00 pm where I was ready to push that baby out. Well I pushed and pushed...and pushed and pushed. Aaaaand nothing happened. My doctor kept giving the nurses these weird looks and I knew he wasn't happy about what was happening. (I was pretty sure I was pooping...because every woman has nightmares about that and I thought, "Oh great, it's happening." But James assures me that I wasn't. Do I trust him? Not sure yet.) Anyway, I was like, "Yo, doc, why you shootin' those nasty looks all over the place?" And he was like, "Because that baby ain't comin' out of yo' small pelvis." Or something like that. So yes, apparently my pelvis is too small? Which in other words my doctor was tired and ready to go home. But James and I did a lot of thinking and praying about it and felt like we should trust the doctor and go ahead with a C-section.

I was surprisingly very calm through the whole thing. James got to see my stomach ripped apart and he saw my insides. And then, at 12:45 am on August 19th, the most beautiful sound filled the room. My baby! Oh! That sound was music to my ears. My baby was finally here! To be honest I am tearing up right now just typing this experience because it was the most beautiful moment of my life. I couldn't see her, I had no idea what was going on, but I knew that all of my hard work had paid off and I had a healthy baby girl! James got to go and be with her as they cleaned her up but since I had to get stitched back together I had to stay behind. Then, I will never forget that first moment James brought her to me. He came over to me and sat next to me and said, "This is our baby!" And together we both just half laughed half cried and fell in love with the little alien that had once consumed my body. She was/is the most beautiful creature I have ever laid eyes on. But I know I'm pretty biased :)

Guys, this baby is amazing. She was 3 1/2 weeks early but is healthy as can be! I mean, 7 pounds 6 oz. when almost a month early is pretty impressive! While in the hospital she developed a bit of jaundice and had to go under the phototherapy lights and she LOVED it. If she develops an addiction to tanning beds later on in life I am suing the hospital. She loved it so much that we thought she would never want to leave. The nurses were all like, "Wow! She is such a good baby!" And we were like, "Yeah...that's our baby." Bottom line, she is great and we love her.

My recovery has not been so bad. My wonderful mother came and stayed with me for three weeks and my awesome sister also stayed with me for one week. I have such a supportive family! It was so helpful having them here with me to help me recover and to reassure me that not every sound that came out of my baby's mouth meant she was dying.

I could go on and on about how much we love our baby but I will save those for another post. I'll just finish by saying I am grateful for modern medicine. I am grateful for the wonderful nurses at Utah Valley hospital that took SUCH good care of me and reassured me that things were going to be okay when I had meltdowns in front of them. I am thankful for my wonderful husband that has done everything in his power to make me feel happy, beautiful, loved, and appreciated. And last but not least I am so incredibly grateful for my Heavenly Father that has provided me with such an amazing daughter. He rocks, for real. I really owe Him big time. Thanks for reading this post and if you made it through the whole thing, wow. You must really love me. Or birth stories. Either one :)

Part One: The Pregnancy

Wow. Where do I start? So much has been going on this year that I haven't even had the time to collect my thoughts and put them down into words. But I really do want to write them down because these are things that I definitely want to remember. Part of me feels that it may have been better to write them down as they were happening so that the memories were fresh and included more detail, but the other part of me realizes that if I had done so, people would have thought I was the most negative, sarcastic, pitiful person they had ever known.

Now, I realize my story may offend some people. I do understand that there are many that would die to be in my shoes. I understand that many people try very hard to have babies of their own and are unable to. I totally get that. And my heart totally does go out to those people. But this is just my story and so I'm going to say it like it was for me. Honesty is important to me and I have never really been one to sugar coat things. So here it is. Part 1: The Pregnancy.

Let's start from the beginning. In the beginning of January, I woke up one day and thought to myself, "Hmm...I haven't started my period yet. Maybe I'm pregnant. Haha no way...I'm not pregnant. That is not even possible." I woke James up and I told him that it had been a few days since I should have started my last period and hadn't. He casually suggested I take a pregnancy test (which I had a box of ONLY because I had been given some at my bridal shower over a year before and knew they would come in handy one day.) I kind of laughed but took one anyways. What did I have to lose? Much to my surprise, this is what I saw:

(Yes this is two of my five pregnancy tests that I took out of complete disbelief.) I walked into the room and collapsed on the bed next to James and cried for what felt like an hour. Why was this happening so much earlier than I wanted it to happen? What about MY plans? How was this even possible? What about my cruise that I had been looking forward to for almost a year? How was I going to go enjoy myself when I was pregnant?! I know, I know. HOW SELFISH AM I?! Totally, 100%, no-doubt-about-it selfish. I see that now. But at the time I had a difficult time looking past that selfishness and recognizing the blessings I was about to receive.

I would be lying if I said my sorrow stopped there. I had moments of self-pity and disbelief (to put it lightly) throughout my entire pregnancy. I was stand-over-the-toilet-barfing sick the ENTIRE pregnancy. In fact when I was about 8 months pregnant I was driving on the freeway and barfed all over myself in the car and had to sit in it until I got home. It's funny to me now. And to be honest at the time I wasn't even that upset because I had been going through it for so long already that it just didn't surprise me anymore. I got home, changed my clothes, and got in bed. Because like, what else do you do when you just barfed all over yourself in the car? When I was on my cruise in Mexico I fell off a horse and got pretty banged up (which is a whole other story). Both physically and emotionally haha. My back went out for over a week. I had several TERRIBLE colds (poor me, huh?! haha.) I was put on bed rest and was in and out of the hospital for about a month due to gestational hypertension. I was forced to deliver my baby a month early and she had to come via C-section (more about that in a separate post). I know that other people have it way worse than I do...but I felt like I couldn't catch a break. Here is a pic of me on the stupid horse in Cabo. I am really good at pretending I feel good in pictures.

BUT BUT BUT BUT BUT!!!! Before you think I am the most negative person in the entire world, hear me out. I did experience some of the hardest things I have ever experienced in my entire life and it was one of the biggest trials I have ever gone through. But I sincerely feel so so SO grateful for it. Why? Because, well, not only did it give me the most beautiful baby girl that I have ever seen...but it also helped me to recognize some of the biggest blessings I have in life.

1. I have THE BEST, MOST UNDERSTANDING AND LOVING HUSBAND THAT EXISTS. I brag about him a lot, but it is only because he deserves it. There were points in my pregnancy that I was NOT a nice person. He dealt with it like a champ. He served me, loved me, did absolutely everything for me my entire pregnancy with a smile on his face and never once complained. He is the best husband I could ever ask for and this pregnancy helped me realize it even more. Also, he is one incredible daddy.

2. I am so grateful for my health. I have never been to a hospital. I have never had anything terribly wrong with me. I have never had a doctor concerned about my health. This experience was scary and it helped me to value my health and make it a top priority.

3. I am so incredibly thankful for the friends and family that helped support me and lift me up. While on bed rest I had people calling and checking on me almost daily. I had ward members/friends bringing me meals. I had people praying for me, thinking of me, and serving me daily. I never once realized how much that would mean to me until I went through this pregnancy.

4. I am so so so thankful for my little baby Charlotte. She is such a good, happy baby and I now know that everything I went through was for her and it was so worth it! Just look at her!

 

 

Now...stay tuned for my next post...MY BIRTH STORY.