I'm not sure that anyone really reads this blog...but if they do, or even if this apology is solely for myself, I just want to say I'm sorry that I'm a terrible day-to-day doer and that I fail to keep up with stuff like this. I am trying to be better. In fact, I think about this blog on almost a daily basis. I think, "That would be a really good thing to write about" or "I am going to write a blog post today." And then I get home from work, kiss my handsome husband, go to the gym, make dinner, clean up, watch the Walking Dead on Netflix, and the next thing I know I'm exhausted and ready for bed! It's tough stuff to keep up with a blog! But like I said, I'm trying to be better.
Due to the nature of my job, I am in the car A LOT. On a daily basis you will find me driving from one patient, to the next, to the next, etc. Have I mentioned that my particular job covers the area of South Utah County all the way up to Layton? Yeah, I am in the car A LOT. So because of this, I have a lot of time to think. Which results in many ideas for blog posts. So my problem is not WHAT to write about but more, "Where do I start?!" But after a few recent experiences I have decided what I want to start with.
The first experience happened about two weeks ago. I was doing my normal rounds, making visits to our patients. I was visiting a man in a Memory Care Unit who, like almost every other person over 80, is very hard of hearing. But this man is so hard of hearing that you have to get inches away from his ear for him to even remotely decipher what you are saying. While visiting, I looked across the room to see another man walking, well more like shuffling, his way towards us. I wasn't sure if we were his destination or if he was just wandering. Sure enough about 10 minutes later this man plopped himself right beside me. I politely said hi, introduced myself, and made some small talk. He didn't look like your typical old man, sort of younger, and he could hear me without me having to yell, so my first thought was "What is this guy doing here?" Well it didn't take me long to realize what he was doing there. Nothing that came out of his mouth made sense. Like literally...nothing. He would start talking and be like, "Yeah people of the boat on three green couch six heaved happy time things down up and around me." And I was like, "Ooohhhh. Okay. That's why you're here." Next, I look over and there is a lady standing next to me. And I couldn't really tell if she was there visiting her elderly mother or if she belonged there herself. So again, I politely said, "Hi! How are you?" And she replied, "Just waiting here for them to tell me what to do." Still confused I responded, "Aren't we all?" With a small stupid giggle. To that she responded with a big, LOUD, boisterous laugh that made it very obvious that she was a resident there. And it was in that moment, right then and there, that I thought to myself, "This is freaking awesome." I was so happy to be there. So happy to just experience life at that exact moment. So happy that I was the only one in that small group that was even conscious of reality. But I wasn't the only happy one. All three of them had big smiles on their faces. Why? Because I was smiling at them, talking to them, taking time to be there with them in that moment. And that is all that mattered right then.
The next experience happened just today. I was visiting with someone that is 100 years old. Yep. That's right. 100 YEARS OLD!!! And it's not like wilting away in bed type of old. This is like up walking around, engaging in conversation, sweet as can be type of old. But today was a rough day for this lady. I wanted to do something to help but I'm not a nurse...I'm not even a CNA. All I know to do is talk about feelings! And the bad day was making it so that no feelings could even be talked about. So I couldn't help but feel totally useless but still I wanted so badly to help! So, with permission from this lovely woman, I got down on my knees in front of her chair, and rubbed her hands and forearms (really gently obviously because I didn't want to break anything! Those are some old bones ya know?!) And for about 30 minutes I just sat and gently rubbed. She expressed several times how good it felt, how much it was helping, and how thankful she was that I was there, in that moment, taking time to help her. She was happy so therefore I was happy. Simple as that.
Now I don't tell you these stories to boast...although it might have come across that way. I just want to give a couple of examples of the importance of living in the moment. This life is really super short. I mean think about it...you are born...you learn...you keep learning...you continue to learn...and then once you are close to "getting it" you die. Don't let that thought be depressing. Make it be motivating. Make it push you to do better. To enjoy every moment just the way it is. Be thankful you can hear, that you can speak, that you can understand, that you have the opportunity to serve and be served and to feel emotions. We are so lucky. Lucky to be alive. Alive during a time that is just booming with newer and newer technology on a daily basis. Make each moment count and make sure to express how you feel about the special people in your life because you just never know when that won't be an option anymore. I love you all and thank you for reading my blog!!!
